


The Meaning of Time

by Yellow_Soul



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Complex Thoughts, Contemplating Time, Don't Judge Me, Existential Crisis, Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Internal Monologue, Late Night Writing, Me Projecting onto Player, No Plot/Plotless, Phone Calls & Telephones, PlayCarm, Player is a Dork, Player-centric, Self-Indulgent, Sorry Not Sorry, inspired by an existential crisis and a Creek animatic, literally me when I was avoiding school work, procrastination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 03:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_Soul/pseuds/Yellow_Soul
Summary: "Is this a, 'I have the information and wanted to tell you as soon as possible' call or a 'please spare me I was busy' call?""... please spare me?"Alternatively,Player has a lot to do, but instead he contemplates Time™





	The Meaning of Time

**Author's Note:**

> I inject PlayCarm into every Carmen Sandiego fic I touch. It's subtle, I think it's only one paragraph- I just couldn't hold myself back :'c
> 
> Anyways! I hope y'all enjoy! This is sorta Player-centric??

He doesn't want to say it- to _think_ it. If he so much as considers the aching nag in the back of his mind then he knows the thoughts will consume him entirely. There's no time for this kind of introspection, not when there's decoding to be done and other, uh- things... Things he also doesn't want to think about, but he'd rather anything else just to keep his mind off _this_.  
  
Normally it's not so hard to keep his mind from wandering when he has a set task planned out in advance; today just isn't his day. Even so, he has to finish decoding before Carmen is done with her current mission, a town in Mexico he can't quite recollect.  
  
In actuality he doesn't _need_ to, he just likes having things done ahead of time. There's nothing worse than knowing he's the reason they might fall behind V.I.L.E. Once they missed a whole mission since he had a paper due and- well, even if Carmen had said it was alright for him to put school first, Player felt horrible about it. Now he tries to stay up-to-date, or a little bit ahead if he can manage it.  
  
But again. Today is _not_ his day. He knows he shouldn't be as frustrated as he is, that the incessant ticking of the clock shouldn't make him itch all over, but he can't help it. It feels like he's drowning in things that need done, due dates looming just above his head. The To Do list is too long, stretching on enough that he has to write it down to make sure he doesn't forget anything. If he stares at it to even contemplate _starting_ something, to maybe make the list a smidgen smaller; his limbs get all jittery, his heart drums too fast or not at all, and his mind jumbles itself up about how there's _too much!_ and _urgent urgent urgent!_  
  
It's a race against the clock, but while Player is sitting here, trying _not_ to think about all the other things he still has to do, time ticks on. Eating away at the minutes and hours until he won't have any time left at all.  
  
And there it is. The acknowledgement that time flies. Damn him and his hopelessly circular thoughts! At this rate he might as well just think about it, if only so he can _stop_ thinking about it. There won't be anything to contemplate if he's already thought it all out.  
  
He leans back in his chair, breathing deeply a couple times to calm any nerves as he makes sure he's saved his work thus far. It's not much, but anything is better than nothing, and he'd rather not restart from scratch.  
  
Time is... inevitable. It is continuous and unending. In some ways that's comforting, to know that time will always carry on whether people are alive to witness it or not. The same thought is also overwhelmingly horrifying. To be aware that things don't end with you, to know that people will carry on and forget the time in which you existed.  
  
Eventually people as a whole will be forgotten by time, by the _universe_.  
  
Time is beautiful only because the amount of it one possesses is limited. It is made important in the fact that there is only a set amount of that each person has. However, the significance of time is also measured by _how_ that time is spent.

If one were to spend their days going to work, coming home, and sleeping; their time would be considered inconsequential. Worthless. It wouldn't matter if they had more or less time, because the way they were using their time _didn't matter_.  
  
Compared to someone who takes their life and makes a name for theirself, someone who does good for others and not just for themselves- their time may not be bountiful, but every second of it counts. It _means_ something.

Carmen's time means something.<strike> (Hopefully so does his.)</strike>  
  
There's a paradox in that, though. Eventually the human race will die out and anything that they've ever done won't matter. _None of it_ will matter. So, even if someone comparably has more important time than another's, all time is meaningless.  
  
And yet, miraculously, people still care. They try so desperately to do things for themselves, to do things for others. People bend over backwards and do a double twenty-foot flip just to accomplish goals that inevitably _won't mean anything_.  
  
Here humanity is, fully aware that the planet is dying, that the _human race_ is dying, and that everything that has ever been built will become a forgotten example of how life shouldn't be. Regardless of it all people reach out to their fellow man because they want to know each other, to be close, to _understand_ one another. They want to look at someone and see them for who they really are, and they want that same person to look back and see them, too.  
  
They know time is limited. Everyone knows each day of everyone's lives is numbered. They know. Even still, they make meaning out of the meaningless.  
  
Maybe time's value isn't based on how much there is _or_ how it's spent. Maybe it's about how significant the time is to you. It's worth is entirely in the eye of the beholder. The universe will forget every action that is ever taken, every choice that is made, so time only matters to the person who is using it. It's up to them how to spend it, it's up to them to decide whether that time is of value or not.  
  
In it's own way that's beautiful. If all time is useless in the grand scheme, then all time can be meaningful to people as individuals.  
  
It's a true shame that not everyone sees it that way, that others worry over wasted time. Time can't be wasted unless you're doing something you don't want to be doing.  
  
Does that mean that _he_ wasn't wasting his time? Perhaps. Player definitely had been, but in his own way he kinda enjoyed over analyzing this. It made him feel better about not having finished anything yet. Oddly enough, it relieved a lot of the pressure he'd felt. His time isn't being wasted so long as he chooses it not to be, and it's okay to not do things he doesn't want to do for awhile, because when all is said and done it doesn't _matter_ what he did or didn't do.  
  
He's knocked from his musing as a soft ping notifies him that Carmen has shot him a text.  
  
From: Red

_ Hey! Just finished here, do you have the next mission yet?_  
  
Forget it. He _definitely_ wasted the past half hour for nothing and he is an _idiot_ for thinking it hadn't mattered how much he's decoded so far. Holy mother hacker, doesn't he have to make a slide show for psychology tomorrow, too? What had he thought he was _doing_ sitting around and fiddling with his fingers like he was in second grade? He has _work_ to do!  
  
Without a second of hesitation he calls her, the phone ringing twice before she picks up. "Is this a,_ 'I have the information and wanted to tell you as soon as possible'_ call or a _'please spare me I was busy'_ call?"  
  
Some deep part of him is grateful this isn't a video chat, so she doesn't see his simpering embarrassment at getting called out. In all fairness her tone is playful, not accusatory. Carmen never gets angry at him for being behind, sometimes he wishes she would. "... please spare me?"  
  
The laughter his words pull out of her is a little gratifying and eases his nerves. "I still have school work, but I was kinda trying to avoid it,"  
  
"Doing what?" Even though he can't see her, he can imagine exactly what her face looks like. One side of her mouth quirked knowingly, her eyes holding the smile she's trying to contain. He can even picture her carefully tucking some of the hair, that'd inevitably fall loose from her bun, behind her ear as she waits for his excuse.  
  
Player needs to stop daydreaming _about_ Carmen and start talking _to_ Carmen.  
  
"Thinking?" He sounds too hopeful for her not to ask him to elaborate, and he knows it. That doesn't stop him from waiting a solid minute before he decides to save her the breathe, "About time, I guess. What gives time value and how limited our time really is,"  
  
"That's," She pauses. Not so much struggling to find a word, as wanting to make sure she uses the best word to properly convey her thoughts, "... cool," Or maybe Player had overexerted his brain earlier and now everything has to be thought provoking and stupidly deep.  
  
"Is that the only reason you were procrastinating?" The dread creeps back like the tide pulling in. Slowly rising until he it drowns him. He _really_ hates that word, as accurate as it is. But despite the fact he'd been thinking about time, it hadn't been his reason for pushing all his work off until later. (That is a whole other can of worms he'll pry open another time.)  
  
"If I say no will you push me to explain?" He asks tentatively. Her concern for him has always been endearing, but sometimes it can be too much. Especially at moments like this when there is nothing specifically wrong.  
  
"Maybe," her hesitance to give a solid answer is actually an answer in itself.  
  
"Then yes." That earns a derisive snort, but true to her word she doesn't question him any further. "I'll go, you should get started on your homewo-"  
  
"You don't have to go,"  
  
She sighs, like she knows exactly where this conversation is going. It's not surprising she does, he knows too. "Yes, I do. You're already distracted from your work, if I stay you'll just get even further off task ,"  
  
It's true and they both know it, but Player is getting tired of losing this argument. They always say the same lines and come to the same conclusions. This time he'll change the script. "Then help me. It's a psychology project- it's not like you'll be doing anything until I finish this _and_ decode the next mission... which I'll be able to do sooner if I get help on my homework.  
  
There's silence as she processes the new words, weighing her options. "Okay, but if you get off topic I can and _will_ abandon you."  
  
He gasps in mock offense at her accusation, "I'll have you know I feel very _strongly_ about-" he quickly tries to find the papers detailing what his presentation should be on. "the effects that drugs have on one's mind!"  
  
"I'm sure you do Player, and you have all night to tell me about it,"

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my existential crisis which inspired this! Couldn't have done it without you buddy 💕


End file.
